Are you a man, are you a woman, or are you a person? Myself, I am a man. Yes, I am also a person, men are a subset of the larger category of “persons,” but I never think of myself as being a “person,” I always and can only think of myself as being a man. I don’t even know what a “person” is in actuality. “Person” is an abstract concept, a linguistic tool to refer to humans or the human race overall. However there is no such thing as a “person” walking around; there are only males or females, boys and girls and men and women. I am a man. Before that I was a boy developing into the man I would become. I have never been a “person,” I have never thought of myself as being a “person,” I have always been and can only be a boy and then a man.
The question is whether I am indifferent to my masculine identity seeing it as “no big deal,” whether I am ashamed or afraid of my masculine identity seeing it as a burden I cannot cope with or a threat, or whether I am proud of my masculine identity and see it as the core of my identity and my fundamental purpose in life. When I was living under the feminist ideology, going along with the cultural messages imposed upon me before I rebelled against feminism, I either viewed my masculinity as “no big deal” or as something to be ashamed of or a threat. Closer to the truth; my “official posture” was that my masculinity was “no big deal” but at a deeper emotional level my masculinity was instead something to be ashamed of and a potential threat to be suppressed. I think this is the fate of most men in a feminist culture; that their masculinity is to be devalued and destroyed and that they are to not be “men” but instead are to be “persons;” some kind of arbitrary mixture of male and female.
I only strongly identified with my masculinity after rejecting feminism; then my masculinity became the central organizing principle of my life. My masculinity then became something I embraced, something I was proud of, something that gave me purpose and a positive sense of self; something that was heroic. The sources of my masculine drive I believe were instinctual. The yearnings I felt inside me and the heroic ideal I wanted to become were never taught to me by the culture; indeed they were actively suppressed by the culture. The only source of these feelings were my instinctual drive to become what I was meant to be, what I was created to be; a man. When I then saw that the culture and more specifically feminism had actively sought to suppress the positive masculine drive inside of me for all these years of my early life and early adulthood that is when I really became enraged against feminism and dedicated myself to the overturning of feminism and the return to a sane patriarchal culture.
In the heroic vision of what my masculinity was for it was always first and foremost to serve women and to protect and properly order society overall. As a man I was the creator of the overall social order and I was the one who would provide for my wife and children an ideal happy family. It was this ideal image of what a man should be and what role a man should play that led to my ideal and definition of Chivalry. Chivalry is in effect manhood or masculinity; the great male calling and purpose. Just like family and the social order is dependent upon men asserting and defending their masculinity Chivalry, the fundamental expression of masculinity, is the foundation of the family and social order.
Those who reject and hate Chivalry hate masculinity and manhood itself since after all Chivalry is what manhood and masculinity is. Since Chivalry is the natural expression of what a man is to hate Chivalry is also to hate men; it is to say that masculinity is something to be ashamed of, something to suppress, something to deny, something to minimize, something that is dangerous. This is of course the message that feminism has been imposing upon me for my entire life. It is also the message that the Men’s Rights Activists try to impose upon me as well. My manhood however was given to me by God, my Chivalrous mission is something I have a right to by birthright; it is not something I will surrender to either feminists or MRAs, my Chivalry belongs to me.
If there is one thing that draws feminists and MRAs together in mutual alliance it is their shared hatred for Chivalry, their shared hatred for masculinity, indeed their shared hatred for men. The question is why, where does this hatred of masculinity come from? Masculinity means service to others and it also means authority over others. The masculine is in contrast to and relationship with the feminine. Where the masculine is superior the feminine is inferior; likewise where the masculine is inferior the feminine is superior. The masculine tends to be superior in areas of planning and control and productivity and rule making, the feminine tends to be superior in the relationship realm and the emotional realm and in sensitivity to detail. For a man to embrace his masculinity he needs to accept his dependency on women in the areas of feminine superiority and he needs to accept that he is in service to women. Likewise for a woman to embrace the man’s masculinity the woman needs to accept that she is dependent upon the man in the areas of male superiority and that she is in service to the man. In other words for both men and women the acceptance of masculinity means accepting one’s inherent inferiority as either a man or a woman; the man being inferior in the feminine realm and the woman being inferior in the masculine realm; and it means an acknowledgement that one is by obligation in service to the opposite sex.
A man hates masculinity because the acceptance of his masculine identity means that he is dependent upon the woman for his emotional needs and for the woman to bear and raise his children and that along with this comes the man’s obligation to financially support the woman and his children. The woman hates masculinity because the acceptance of men’s masculine identity and purpose means the woman is in submission to the man and the woman is dependent upon the man for her physical well being and safety. The man who hates masculinity then becomes an MRA while the woman who hates masculinity becomes a feminist. The MRA and the feminist are then united in their desire to destroy masculinity, to make men ashamed of being men, and to abolish Chivalry; Chivalry being men’s ultimate identity and purpose as men.
So if masculinity is harmful to both men and women like both the feminists and the MRAs say why not abolish masculinity and drive it into “the dustbin of history?” The simple answer is because men are born to be masculine and women are born to be feminine. A man can only function at his best when he embraces his masculinity. A woman can only function at her best when she embraces her femininity. A family can only function at its best when the masculinity of the father and the femininity of the mother work cooperatively together. Both men and women need to cultivate and embrace their strengths as men and women; trying to act the part of the opposite gender is foolish as a man can never excel as a woman and a woman can never excel as a man. Men and women are born different to serve different roles and to express their identity and purpose in different ways. This is God’s plan, this is what God intended. Men and women are different for a reason; embrace the identity and purpose in life God has given you.
Companion Piece: Feminism’s Hatred of Femininity
Reference: Why I Support Patriarchy