“You leave out the rest of the story – how did you[r] relationships with women change after you embraced patriarchy? Did you get married soon after?”
Yes, Body Crimes, I left out the “what then?” second half of the drama. Inquiring minds want to know. Here is “Part 2” of the story.
Immediately after my conversion to patriarchy around 1995 I became aware that feminists, meaning the culture at large and almost all women in general, would resist my effort to recreate the 1950s ideal of family life for myself as an individual. This filled me with a great rage against feminists. The feminists were bent on destroying me completely; first they messed up my parents so that they would be selfishly oriented and not focused on my developmental needs as a child and as a future man. This is why I was particularly weak in my social skills and why I didn’t see what my positive purpose in relation to women was. Then the feminist culture in general tried to suppress my strength as a man telling me I was an “oppressor” if I showed strength in relation to women. So my particular weakness due to my parents neglecting my social needs combined with the globally imposed feminist culture telling me I should be weak as a man and I was obligated to make myself weak as a man in order to avoid “oppressing” women led to my strength level being so low that it was pretty much impossible for me to get women to be romantically interested in me. This was entirely feminism’s fault because feminism is what led my parents to be selfishly oriented and to neglect my needs as a child and a future man and feminism was responsible for the general cultural message that men were the oppressors of women and so men should weaken themselves in order to avoid oppressing women.
Finally as a young adult I figured out a way to escape from the universal rejection by women feminism imposed upon me; that being 1950s style male breadwinner patriarchy. The problem however was that me embracing 1950s style patriarchy I knew would lead to hostility and push back and that the whole culture and legal system was designed to make traditional family life fail and be unworkable for the purpose of promoting and elevating the feminist version of family life; the feminist version of family life and its associated cultural messages being what plunged me into my failure with women in the first place. So before my conversion to patriarchy I was too weak for women to be interested in me; after my conversion to patriarchy my goal was to be stronger than what the feminists wanted me to be with all sorts of roadblocks and danger and discrimination against me as a man being set up by the feminists for the purpose of weakening me and undermining me because the feminists deemed me to be “too strong” and therefore an oppressor of women with me not going along with their “gender equality” script; “gender equality” being simply female supremacy in practice.
So immediately after my conversion to patriarchy a great rage in me developed against feminists because I could see feminists were bent on destroying me as a newly emerging patriarchal man just like they had already dedicated themselves to destroying me as a child and a young adult by making me too weak to appeal to women before hand. There was no escape from feminist tyranny and feminism’s goal was to destroy my capacity to form relationships with women no matter what I did. So the first 2 years after my conversion to patriarchy I focused my energies on figuring out all the different ways feminism messed up society and developing a general plan in my mind about how patriarchy could be reintroduced and how feminism could be eventually destroyed and overcome.
One might ask themselves; after seeing that patriarchy would get a lot of resistance from the culture and that it might prove unworkable and impractical for myself as an individual why didn’t I try to pursue the middle level of strength feminists and the women around me wanted from me and that would produce a reasonable level of success with women consistent with the average level of success with women among men in general? Why did I start out being too weak as a man and then go to the opposite extreme of being “too strong” trying to be like a man from the 1950s and then refuse to “go to the middle” like the society and the women around me wanted me to do?
The answer to this question is that once I saw that patriarchy would work as a way of attracting women and would be good for children I saw the 1950s man as being a good man, a morally good man, and that the 1990s man others wanted me to become was a bad man by comparison because he did not care for women like the 1950s man did and he did not provide to his children a mother to look after their needs full time like the 1950s man did. The 1950s man was objectively better than the 1990s man so of course I was going to choose to be like the 1950s man regardless of the fact that the culture around me and the women around me wanted me to be a 1990s man rather than a 1950s man at that time. Since the 1950s man was objectively superior to the 1990s man if the women around me wanted me to be a 1990s man that meant the women around me were bad, that they wanted me to be a bad man because they were bad themselves. If the culture around me wanted me to be a 1990s man and not a 1950s man that meant the culture around me was bad. Of course it was already clearly established that the culture around me was bad because the culture is what made my parents what they were and the culture is what told me to weaken myself as a man so that no woman would ever want me.
Once I saw that feminism itself was bad, that feminism wanted me to be a bad man undesirable to women, I could not then become what the feminists wanted me to become just because it might serve some kind of utilitarian purpose or make my life easier. Looking at the cultural statistics; the out-of-wedlock birth ratio in particular; I could see that feminism was degenerative, that every generation was worse off than their parents in terms of their competency at forming and maintaining families. This meant if I was to simply blend in with the culture around me I would be a part of the process of self-destruction rather than my life representing anything positive. Once I learned that feminism was bad I couldn’t unlearn this. I saw what I saw and I couldn’t pretend that I didn’t see what I just saw. So me conforming to the culture to avoid conflict with feminism was out of the question for me; the fight against feminism was something I had to take on whether I wanted the battle or not, whether it served my personal interests or not, whether it served my relationships with women or not.
Back to the narrative of what happened after my conversion to patriarchy. The first 2 years after my conversion to patriarchy was spent figuring out how feminism worked and all the different harms to society feminism caused and a general process by which feminism would be destroyed and replaced by patriarchy. Then I returned to an effort to integrate with society and to build my attractiveness to women in hopes of a future relationship with a woman. I went to college with the idea that college would increase my earning power so that I could be a better breadwinner for my future family. My strategy was to cooperate with society in the areas where society worked and to fight against society in the areas where society didn’t work. In this way I could pursue family life and politics at the same time; I could try to have a good family life personally and also work on the culture overall to make the culture overall more family friendly. I want to point out though my thinking was that focus on family would come first during the time society was still functioning reasonably well and that focus on conflict and politics would come later in my life as society deteriorated and it became more and more impossible to function as an ordinary person in daily life.
My thinking was that I would divide society into two parts; the part that worked and the part that didn’t work and I would cooperatively participate in the part of society that worked and I would avoid or attack the part of society that didn’t work. I predicted that as time moved forward the part of society that worked would shrink and that the part of society that didn’t work would expand; in this way my focus on cooperative behaviors would slowly shrink over time and my emphasis on conflict and politics would slowly grow over time. I figured the first part of my adult life would then be mostly cooperative and the later part of my adult life would be more political and conflict oriented. In this way as a young man I would focus on my family life and then as an old man I would focus on politically fighting feminism. This way over the course of my life I could contribute both by way of my family and by way of politics but that my family contribution would come first and then my political contribution would come later hopefully after my children were grown.
After I graduated from college however and it was time for me to face the “real world” my model of how I could pursue a good life inside of the feminist culture broke down. I got derailed by the abortion issue, the Roe vs. Wade issue, the law regarding abortion being “a woman’s right to choose.” The problem was that if it was my wife’s decision alone whether or not to have an abortion and more generally how many children to have or even whether to have children or not that would necessitate withdrawing my investment in my wife and my family because if children were just arbitrarily the wife’s decision then I would have no guarantees or reassurance that my investment in my family life would actually serve the purpose I intended my role as a husband and a father to be. This reproductive power being in the woman’s hands then meant the woman was intrinsically dangerous and untrustworthy and by necessity of self-protection I then could not invest in her to the extent I should as her husband. This was a very big problem because it meant that I could not be a good husband, I could not play the role I should as a husband. That my family life would necessarily be morally corrupted and morally tainted and something degenerative that would shortchange my children for the purpose of giving to my wife power that she shouldn’t have. This was disastrous because it meant I could not serve society through the means of directly participating in family life without political conflict against feminism being combined with family life and my thinking earlier was that political conflict would come at a later stage of the deterioration of society but that I could dedicate myself to family life right away as soon as I was able.
So I was presented with having to figure out a way to engage in political conflict constructively and effectively against feminism, something I had no idea how to do at the time and something that it took me years to figure out how to do. My earlier hopes that I could delay political confrontation for a long time, for decades even, were dashed. I had to engage in political confrontation immediately before pursuing family life because family life by itself was futile and intrinsically morally corrupted by the abortion issue. So instead of having the luxury of decades of peace and tranquility before politics reared its ugly head when I was nice and old politics instead was something that had to be dealt with first before family life could be pursued. In practice this meant my potential family life being pushed out of the way to make sure my political identity was working and functioning first.
This leads me up to about 5 years ago when I started to post things on the Internet as my expression of anti-feminist anti-MRA pro-patriarchy activism. It was only a little less than a year ago however that I actually discovered like minded people who were secular and in favor of patriarchy like myself in the form of the TWRAs or Traditional Women’s Rights Activists whom I joined on January 27, 2013. I later quit the TWRAs and started my own political affiliation I am calling the TFAs or Traditional Family Activists on October 30, 2013.
I am rather well developed in terms of my political identity and my political power but even up until today my family and personal relationship situation with women is weak and underdeveloped. Battling against feminism politically has been my top priority since my effort to integrate into society got derailed by the abortion issue; the battle against feminism and related pathologies has been the number one issue in my mind ever since I first converted to support for patriarchy almost 20 years ago now. There was a period during the time I was going to college where I hoped to be able to pursue family life and function normally in society thinking I could separate the good in society from the bad and delay political confrontation until some time far off into the future but shortly after graduating from college I realized such a strategy wouldn’t work due to the abortion issue necessarily invading and corrupting my future family life thereby making it impossible to separate the good from the bad in how society worked therefore necessitating that I had to combine conflict against the bad with cooperation with the good meaning a focus on political confrontation had to be established first in my life before I could pursue cooperative family behaviors. Sadly due to the abortion issue forcing political confrontation upon me immediately developing an actual family life never happened for me.
My conversion to patriarchy started out as a means to gain women’s approval romantically but it quickly turned into a holy crusade mostly political and social activist in nature with actual relationships with actual women becoming a secondary priority. The system overall had to be fixed before healthy good functional relationships with women would become possible or safe to pursue. Ideally it would be best to pursue family life and pro-patriarchy activism at the same time but I have not been able to combine the two together and instead have focused on the political side allowing the family side to slip away from me. Such is my fate; I did the best I could with the resources and options available to me.
So as I see things now my job is to serve women collectively as a class and potentially to serve the individual women who may wish to join me and support me in a political sense. I am to help people in the development and promotion of their family lives; to teach men how to be good men and to teach women how to be good women and for men and women to form relationships together that put the needs of children first. Patriarchy is the means to this end; patriarchy is the family model and the relationship model that works.
For the young men out there reading this I want to give you some good news; the cultural environment in the United States is much more friendly to people wanting to pursue traditional gender relationships than it was 20 years ago. There has been a huge amount of progress in building alternative social communities and patriarchy friendly sub-cultures that you can join; these alternative social environments being available mostly through the complementarian and patriarchy Christian churches. I recommend looking into the Acts 29 church network for a church teaching a complementarian man as servant leader model near you; there are 391 churches in the Acts 29 Network nationwide in the United States right now. Also a Taken in Hand relationship is something you can look into; the idea of the Taken in Hand relationship being that the man takes the woman in hand. Even the secular world is starting to become aware that patriarchy works best as shown by the emergence of the TWRAs which got started on July 16, 2012 and me starting this website here Secular Patriarchy. I was very isolated as an atheist newly converted to patriarchy in the mid-1990s but today an atheist in favor of patriarchy is not so isolated anymore and might even consider joining one of the complementarian churches that are springing up all over the place throughout the nation. For a Christian definitely they can join one of the complementarian churches popping up. I would urge any young man out there who has newly discovered that feminism is a raw deal and in no way serves his interests or the interests of women to have the confidence that patriarchy is best and to stick to trying to enter into a traditional relationship oneself.
For any young men out there who have gotten sucked into the MRA (Men’s Rights Activist) world; I urge you to reconsider what you’re doing, you have started down the wrong path in life. Women are not your enemies and you are not to be in combat against them struggling for supremacy. As a man you are meant to rule over women and to take care of women and to sacrifice yourself on behalf of women; a relationship with a woman is a higher calling, an idealistic pursuit, it is something you do to be a part of the woman’s service to others, to share in the woman’s higher idealistic purpose as a woman as your higher idealistic purpose as a man. Yes male dominance is good but it is only good when directed towards service to others, not when it is used as a means to benefit oneself. The MRAs are selfishly oriented just like the feminists are; you need to find a better way to view and interact with women than what the MRAs teach and promote. Understand who you are as a man and what your purpose is as a man, then you will understand why the MRA view of women is wrong.
I guess the last thing I will say here; women have always been good for me. Women have not always been good to me but women have always been good for me. As a man I was created to rule over and serve women. My purpose in promoting patriarchy is to take away from women power in the masculine realm and to give to women power in the feminine realm. This is the opposite of what feminism has done which is to take away from women power in the feminine realm and to give to women power in the masculine realm. It is harmful to women and to society overall when women’s power invades the masculine sphere as it destroys men’s masculinity and women’s femininity both, it destroys men’s ability to function as men and women’s ability to function as women. Women have told me very clearly by their behavior towards me that patriarchy is what they want from me, that patriarchy is what they need from me, that patriarchy is what I owe to them.
Companion Piece: Why I am not a Men’s Rights Activist