Women are enormously powerful under patriarchy; enormously powerful and enormously important. I am speaking here based on my own feelings and perceptions and motivations and also based on what I see in the Christian Patriarchy subculture at large, a subculture I strongly identify with even though I am an atheist. Christian Patriarchy produces some very honorable men and some very honorable women. As a man I try to emulate the masculine virtues and ethics that Christian Patriarchy teaches for men and as a man I most highly prize those women who themselves emulate the feminine virtues of the Christian Patriarchy women.
One of the most striking things I notice about the Christian Patriarchy subculture is the very high value placed on the interests of women and the welfare of women. There are an endless number of rules and social customs that are meant to further the welfare of women and to engender respect and concern for women. Also much emphasis is placed on the duties of men and how men are responsible for the welfare of women. Christian Patriarchy men spend much more time talking about the needs of women and the interests of women and the welfare of women than feminist men do. The sense of respect and awe and obligation and caring is much more pronounced listening to a Christian Patriarchy preacher speak to his church congregation than anything you hear in mainstream culture. In mainstream feminism the needs and interests of women are just pretty much ignored by comparison, there is this idea that the interests of women simply take care of themselves as long as women have sufficient “rights” and are treated as “equal.”
Under feminism women are not viewed as a “separate class” nearly as much as they are under patriarchy. The “special status” of women is hammered on relentlessly under patriarchy and indeed can be seen as the moral foundation of life, certainly as the moral foundation of gender relations. Under feminism women are portrayed as “victims” or as “oppressed” in different ways requiring “special concern” to remedy their victim status to make them “equal” but once structural gender equality is implemented culturally and legally then the “woman issue” is viewed as being solved and people simply forget that women are different and they don’t really care about women anymore, the needs and interests of women just sort of disappear from consciousness.
Under patriarchy the importance and meaning of being a woman is endlessly talked about and endlessly reinforced and the moral system is entirely built around the underlying reality that women are different and women have particular needs and particular interests and a particular special relationship to men. A patriarchal man never forgets that women are different and never forgets his duty and his sense of obligation to women and when he thinks about moral issues the woman’s special status is always kept in mind. A patriarchal man loves the fact and cherishes the fact that women are different and indeed his purpose as a man is fundamentally derived from this fact.
Feminism deadens men’s sensitivity to women; patriarchy heightens men’s sensitivity to women. A woman’s romantic power is much higher in a patriarchal culture than in a feminist culture.
In a patriarchal culture men are the ones who preach duty to women and endlessly talk about the different ways in which men and society at large should treat women in a beneficial way. Women are the ones who praise men and talk about how great men are and how they honor and respect and love their husbands. Women are also the ones who talk most about respecting men’s needs and who advocate ethical principles that tend to benefit men. Under feminism you get the spectacle of “angry women” (feminists) lecturing and berating men about how they as women deserve to be treated and what men owe them. Feminists present themselves as the “moral conscious” of men, that a man is not a “good man” unless he is doing what the feminists want him to do or what the woman wants him to do. Also in feminist culture you have this MRA (Men’s Rights Activist) phenomenon where “angry men” (MRAs) do exactly the same as the feminists do but in reverse where they as men lecture women on what women owe them all while meticulously avoiding any mention of women’s interests or men’s responsibilities towards women.
Under patriarchy men have a very strong desire to be good men and are very aware of their duty to serve women; women likewise have a very strong desire to be good women and are very aware of their duty to be a man’s “helpmeet” or helper. In patriarchy the man is grateful to the woman for being a woman and the woman is grateful for the man being a man, the man is in love with the woman’s femininity and the woman is in love with the man’s masculinity, the man and the woman are both in awe of each other and see God in each other, each sex sees their purpose as serving the goals of the opposite sex.
Under feminism the preoccupation is with self and there is always this paranoia that ones romantic partner is trying to “pull one over” on them. There is a great deal of fear that one will be abused by the other and a great amount of energy is dedicated towards defensive strategies, often viewed as aggression by the other party, in order to avoid being hurt by the other’s potential possible betrayal.
When I see a woman showing feminist characteristics my reaction is to become angry and withdrawal, to try to make sure that she doesn’t “take advantage” of me and to try to make sure I will be able to punish her for whatever transgressions she may commit against me. My response is to withdrawal and attack, to fight and to flee both. In this way at least at the emotional level my response to feminism in a woman is exactly the same as the MRA response. Look at how MRAs respond to women and you will see that it is entirely fight or flight based. You have the “Men Going Their Own Way” (MGTOW) aspect (fleeing) and you have the endless angry ranting and insults (fighting). There is another permutation to this, that being the PUAs (Pick Up Artists) whose focus is on manipulating women to get what they want (sex) while scrupulously avoiding any commitments or serious relationships with women. In this way the PUA “gains the upper hand” with women through psychological manipulation techniques while at the same time never getting too close to women in order to avoid harm or “entrapment.” The PUA “fights” women by manipulating or outmaneuvering the woman and “flees” women by avoiding serious relationships and monogamy.
When I see a woman showing patriarchal characteristics however my response is to admire her and likely fall in love with her and think she is the greatest and most beautiful woman in the world. Also and perhaps more importantly I want to get close to such a woman and I feel a great desire to give to such a woman and contribute to such a woman’s life. Instead of fight and flee I want to support and reward and to get close. In this way a patriarchal woman has tremendous power over me and tremendous power in relation to me but it is a kind of power that wells up inside of me that I then want to direct to the woman’s benefit, it is not a power that the woman herself “imposes” on me through external action to reward or punish me. Indeed if a woman did try to exert power over me in such a way I would immediately experience such a power assertion as a feminist act and I would shift back into fight or flight mode part way trying to attack or punish her and part way creating distance from her emotionally and being wary of getting “too close.”
I experience the feminist woman as trying to steal from me leading me to try to make sure she gets as little from me as possible and to punish her for whatever she does manage to steal from me. I experience the patriarchal woman however as generously giving to me and my response to her generosity is to give as much to her as I can because I know she will use whatever I give her morally and wisely and besides she deserves it, she has earned it, it is what I owe her.
I believe that women are by nature fundamentally patriarchal; this is why I owe a duty to provide for and protect women as a fundamental principle (unconditional Chivalry). Feminism is an aberration, a corruption, it is not who women truly are and it is not how women are supposed to be; it is not how God created women.
Under patriarchy men give to women in abundance out of love and the desire to serve, under feminism men give to women stingily and reluctantly out of guilt or in response to coercion justified by guilt. I hate the feminist woman and want to punish the feminist woman and withdraw from the feminist woman because she says that I am bad and even more so allows me no opportunity to become good; I am simply born bad and that’s that. I love the patriarchal woman and want to give to her and be close to her because she says that I am good and that even more so I am good as a man because I am a man, that the role of man itself is good, that being manly is good.
Patriarchy puts a lot of pressure on men to perform, to earn a woman’s love, to become worthy of a woman, to become a “real man,” to “man up.” Feminism to puts a lot of pressure on men to “perform” but in a different way, the feminist approach is to lay all kinds of guilt upon men for being men and then says to the man that you will become “good” only if you do all these different things to serve me according to what I tell you to do to “make up for” all the different ways you have “oppressed” me.
I love being told to “man up,” I love the idea of “earning” a woman’s love to become “worthy” of her. These kinds of messages consistent with the overall patriarchal message are very motivating to me and make me feel good about myself and make me feel good about women as well. The feminist way of trying to motivate me however based on false guilt assigned to me that I am then supposed to do “penance” for by giving to the feminist what she wants or more properly what she “demands” that she arrogantly proclaims she has a “right” to; this way of motivating me I find completely repulsive and outrageous and rebel against.
A patriarchal man just loves women more than a feminist man, that is the bottom line. A patriarchal society loves women more than a feminist society. In a patriarchal culture men’s love for women is not contaminated by mutual distrust or negative messages about what being a man is about and women are not “empowered” in a destructive way by the law. In a patriarchal culture men’s natural love for women is not impeded and the moral code of society is built around this love for women; men’s love for women being the very foundation of how society is organized.