I am a man; a masculine man born with masculine strengths and desires. I am not just male, I am a MAN. Thinking back to my high school days what I most liked about women was their femininity; their beautiful warm caring exciting fun femininity. Women were “different,” in particular they were feminine. It was the femininity of women that I really loved, that I really wanted, that I really adored, that made me very very happy to be around.
Of course not all women were equally attractive to me; it was the most physically attractive women who were the most feminine with a positive giggly or friendly mood disposition that I was the most attracted to. I would then in particular focus on the women I was the most attracted to.
Femininity however was the key thing that I was drawn to the most, that I was attracted to the most in women. When I had my dreamy thoughts about the particular women I loved the most what I fixated on was their feminine aura, their feminine moods and facial expressions, the indications of approval they showed to me. It was their feminine core or their feminine soul that drove my fantasies and my swooning and my feeling of being “in love” with them.
When I am “in love” with a woman it is the woman’s femininity, her feminine identity or feminine persona, that I am “in love” with. My emotional focus or emotional arousal towards a woman that “I love” is directed at her femininity specifically; it is her specific feminine characteristics and expressions that trigger inside of me that wonderful feeling of being “in love.”
A woman however is more than her feminine core. A woman is more complicated than her feminine core. In addition to the raw attraction power of a woman’s femininity she also needs to have various skills and abilities that allow her to function well in a relationship context and to serve others.
A woman needs to have good moral values, a focus on serving God rather than herself, an ability to commit to a marriage, an ability to deal with disputes in a way that doesn’t threaten the relationship she is in, she needs to know in what contexts it is right for her to submit and when asserting herself in defense of her feminine identity and feminine purpose is legitimate. A woman also needs to have a drive to serve others, to give her femininity to others, a desire to socially connect with those in need of her strengths and disposition as a woman.
These various skills and abilities a woman needs to have are not the woman’s feminine core itself; instead these are things which support and facilitate and express a woman’s feminine core in interaction with others.
As a man I love the woman’s feminine core while I admire and approve of and am pleased with the various skills and abilities a woman has in support of her feminine core. I do not love a woman for her good moral character, instead I admire the woman’s good moral character, I am reassured by the woman’s good moral character, I feel safe with a woman because of her good moral character. Still I do not LOVE the woman romantically because she has good moral character, my feelings of love for the woman instead are my reaction to her femininity alone. It is femininity which triggers and instills the feeling of being “in love” with a woman.
I can love a feminist woman emotionally, I can be “in love” with a feminist woman. I will not however be in a relationship with a feminist woman because the feminist woman will attack me, steal from me, etc. To actually have a relationship with a woman the woman must both be loved and also admired; your love for the woman coming from her attractive feminine characteristics and your admiration for the woman coming from the woman’s moral values and relationship skills and idealistic orientation.
During my developmental process of how I came to view women and my role in relation to women I realized that very powerfully I loved a woman’s core, a woman’s core femininity. In particular the woman I loved the most in high school; I loved her core as a human being, her feminine core, her feminine identity and expression. I then saw myself as having a kind of sacred duty to her feminine core and by extension to the feminine core of all woman or women in general. I knew deep down that her feminine core or her feminine soul was “good” and that my fundamental purpose as a man was service to her foundational identity and purpose as a woman; that the purpose of my masculinity was her femininity. Patriarchy was then the means by which my masculinity would serve her femininity.
The thing about a woman’s femininity is that it comes from God; it is an expression of God’s purpose for women. The woman’s femininity is born into her, it is her inherited strengths and superiority as a woman, and because the woman’s femininity is put into her by God that makes the woman’s femininity sacred and good. I then as a man have masculinity born into me; masculinity that craves and loves that femininity that I find in the women around me. My masculinity likewise is sacred and good because it was put into me by God as part of my purpose and identity as a man. Because I love women so much it must be that I love women in order to serve women; that my masculinity is meant to serve the feminine core of the woman whose femininity arouses me the most whom I therefore love the most romantically as a woman.
So my love for a woman is my masculinity responding to her femininity. That’s what the love bond between a man and a woman is based on; the woman loving the man in response to the man’s masculinity and the man loving the woman in response to the woman’s femininity.
However just like the woman needs to have skills and abilities and ethics in addition to her core femininity to have a good successful relationship with a man likewise the man also must have good moral character and skills and abilities related to his role and duties as a man.
My fundamental purpose as a man is service to women’s femininity; the empowerment and facilitation of women’s purpose as women. The whole point of patriarchy is men’s masculinity serving women’s femininity; men serving their God given purpose as men in order to enable women to serve their God given purpose as women.
My purpose as a man is not service to women per se; it is service to women as a means of enabling the woman to serve others in her feminine capacity and role as a woman. My duty in other words is towards the woman’s feminine core itself as the woman’s feminine core is an expression of God and created by God and derivative of God so I am to serve the woman’s feminine core as part of serving God.
A woman’s feminine core can be in conflict with a woman’s beliefs and desires and what a woman feels comfortable and safe with; this being exactly what is going on with a feminist woman. A woman wanting to take on the masculine role because it is powerful and feels safe to her is undermining and attacking her own femininity. I cannot be with such a woman no matter how much I love her because she will attack me as I try to place myself in service to her femininity; the femininity within herself that she is at war with because she fears that it makes her weak and vulnerable.
The idea of gender equality is totally bizarre and foreign to me. Why would I want a woman that is “equal” to me? I don’t want an “equal” woman, I want a beautiful caring sensitive woman who is frankly better than me at many of the emotional relationship skills that I am not so good with as a man but that she excels at as a woman. Likewise it makes no sense for a woman to want a man who is “equal” to her in the masculine areas of making money and being calm and rational and a good logical thinker who can strategize and plans things out well; presumably she wants a man who is better at these things than she is herself. Furthermore as the man I should be the one making the money and taking care of things financially. There should definitely not be “equality” in terms of work effort in the marketplace; a woman has better things to do with her time than chasing after the almighty buck making money.
My purpose as a man is to create for the woman a sheltered supported environment where she doesn’t have to bother with the masculine things that I am taking care of as the man; where instead she can devote her time and attention to the feminine things she is meant to be doing as a woman. This is my masculinity in service to her femininity as the expression of my love for her. The way the world is supposed to work. The man doing manly things enabling the soft femininity of the woman caring for her husband, her children, those in her extended family, and the community in general. This is my vision of the ideal life, how God meant for things to be.