The Romantic Market of Traditional Men and Women

There is a problem for the single traditional men and women out there, namely how to find a good romantic partner of the opposite sex who is traditional like you in a hostile feminist world. Are there any traditional women out there? Are there any traditional men out there? How do us isolated rebels find each other in the feminist mob where everybody is a feminist it seems?

The goal is to be able to form a relationship based on a traditional model of how men and women are supposed to interact with each other; to use patriarchy as the organizing principle of the relationship rather than gender equality feminism.

The patriarchy model of relationship is very different from the feminist model of relationship. The patriarchy model is based on the man “declaring” or “asserting” a relationship with the woman that the man wants and the woman then submitting to the relationship expectation / demand that the man places upon her. In the patriarchy model the woman is the one who decides whether or not a relationship with the man is formed through the mechanism of submission to the man (to accept the man) or alternatively refusal / rejection of the man. The man then is the one who decides what the rules and expectations of the relationship will be; the man then employing a dominance strategy to enforce and maintain the rules and expectations he sets for the relationship. The underlying source of the power of the man in the patriarchy model of relationship is the contribution the man gives to the woman; a contribution the man can threaten to withhold from the woman as punishment against the woman for violating the expectations the man places upon the woman. Additionally the patriarchy model of relationship is based on external standards and objective duties set by God or the Superior Power where the man is obliged to obey his duties as a man and the woman is obliged to obey her duties as a woman as set forth in the standard model of how relationships between men and women are supposed to work.

In the feminist model of relationship a man and a woman come together based on mutual desire and an expectation of mutual benefit. The man and the woman “figure things out” by mutual agreement regarding how the relationship is supposed to work and what the expectations for both parties will be. The man and the woman are expected to give to each other equally so that each does their “fair share” in the relationship. This being the theoretical ideal of how a feminist relationship is supposed to work.

In the patriarchy model of relationship the power of the man and the desirability of the man comes from the man’s obedience to God and his desire to serve and to please God. The man commits himself to honorably serve God’s purpose for him and the man then hopes that this will lead him to become attractive and desirable to women (which it will).

In the feminist model of relationship the power and desirability of the man is based on what the man can give to the woman and how much the man pleases the woman according to what the woman herself desires and prioritizes regarding what she wants from a man. There is also the nasty dynamic where the one who is more powerful in the relationship is the one who is less “needy” and more willing to walk away from the relationship.

In the patriarchy model of relationship the man gives much more to the woman than the woman gives to the man; a husband’s duty to fully financially support his wife being a fundamental principle of traditional patriarchal relationships. In the feminist model of relationship the man and the woman give equally to each other (theoretically, ideally, supposedly).

You have to remember, in the patriarchal model the man is focused on fulfilling his duty to God; his outlook is generous and idealistic; it is not based on “mutual benefit” like the feminist model of relationship is. This is why the man gives more to the woman than what he receives from the woman, because his purpose is to fulfill his obligation to the woman, not to receive a compensating benefit from the woman in return. The patriarchal model of relationship is based on mutual idealism and self-sacrifice while the feminist model is based on “what’s in it for me?” selfishness.

If you are a feminist man looking for a feminist woman then your goal is simply to have value you can give to the opposite sex; the more value you can give the more value you can demand in return; the man and the woman being relatively equal to each other in terms of their function in the romantic relationship.

If however you are interested in a patriarchal traditional relationship the goals of the man will be very different from the goals of the woman. In particular the man needs to develop himself into a powerful man while the woman needs to find a powerful man. These are very different demands according to which gender you are.

In order for a patriarchal relationship to form a man has to be high functioning and able to provide the infrastructure and source of support for the relationship; male power and male functioning being the limiting factor in the successful formation of patriarchal relationships. This means that once a man has developed himself into a high functioning powerful patriarchal man then for sure he will be able to enter into a patriarchal relationship with a woman because there will be plenty of women who want the support and the contribution the man is willing to offer her. Yes the man will have to screen out the feminist selfish minded women who just want to take advantage of him, this being why the man demanding the woman’s obedience is so important, but in general a man will certainly be able to find a woman who will accept the man’s intention to take care of her.

The challenge for the man then is to develop himself into a high functioning powerful man, this being very very difficult to do in a hostile feminist culture that actively attacks men and seeks to make men less powerful.

The challenge for the woman on the other hand is to find a “good man,” a high functioning healthy idealistic man, before it is too late, before she ages out of her most powerful most attractive years.

A man is pretty much guaranteed romantic success if he just works at developing himself and strengthening himself and improving himself for a long enough period of time; eventually he will reach a stage where he is powerful enough and desirable enough to get a woman that he wants; the cost to the man being how long it takes to reach a desirable acceptable level of performance to then be able to get a woman.

For the woman however she has to get the best man that is available to her or the best man she can find and win over during the limited window of her prime attractive years. The woman has to take what she can get based on what the market offers her, the longer it takes her to find a suitable man the weaker and less attractive she will steadily become as a woman.

Regarding the question, are there any traditional women out there? Are there any traditional men out there? Sure, of course. Level of traditionalism in men and women falls along a spectrum however; many are weakly traditional, many are moving in a traditional direction, a few are high functioning highly developed strongly traditional. You probably want someone who is about as traditional as you are and who is moving in a more traditional direction over time as you are.

The more traditional you are the more demanding you are and the more you have to offer.

Also let’s be real, high functioning traditionalism is mostly based on religion and found in religious settings. If you are looking for a traditional man or woman you need to be accepting of or explicitly looking for a man or a woman who is religious; the more conservative the religion the better. It is very very hard to be a high functioning traditional person without religious support and guidance.

The more pointed question is are there more traditional men or more traditional women? My answer to that question is that there are more traditional women because the performance demands for being a traditional man are harder to meet so that there are fewer traditional men and therefore more traditional women by comparison. It is a well established fact that there are more single Mormon women than there are Mormon men and that there are more single Jehovah Witness women than there are Jehovah Witness men.

The issue to me is not really whether there are more traditional men out there or more traditional women; the important thing is to act as a man if you are a man and to act as a woman if you are a woman. If you are a man then develop yourself to a high functioning performance level and then for sure some woman that you want will want you. Your goal is to become powerful enough, to have enough to offer, that a high value woman will find it in her rational best interest to submit to you because you can give her a “better deal” than any other man she is likely to be able to get. If you are a woman then develop your feminine qualities and feminine orientation of kindness and service and submissiveness and develop a clear goal for yourself of what kind of man you are looking for; then latch onto and commit yourself to the man you love strongly who meets your expectations of the kind of man you want as a husband and as the father of your future children; hopefully a man who is idealistically oriented and wants to take care of you as his woman.

Also on this subject:
There Are More Traditional Men Than Women Now, I Think!
The Myth of the Non-Existent Traditional Man

 
Related Articles:
Advice for Secular Men Seeking a Traditional Woman
Why Be a Traditional Man?

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About Jesse Powell TFA

Anti-Feminist, MRA, Pro-Traditional Women's Rights Traditional Family Activist (TFA)
This entry was posted in Relationship Dynamics and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to The Romantic Market of Traditional Men and Women

  1. I agree on most of your points there and I think you would know where we diverge.
    For me, I just think that women do give a lot to men too, since they are the ones who will bear the offspring out of their marriage and relationship. She’s also responsible for taking care of him as he is the main provider and to make sure he is compensated for his hard work out in the world.
    Secondly, I think being a traditional man is much easier and more common because feminism has set the trend against women being more domestic and traditional. Once you live a domestic lifestyle, it is more openly obvious than if a man does and there is this judgement and pressure from all the ‘modern’ women around you. It is women’s fault, I know. However this is just a more difficult path for women to go down, being traditional, compared to men, who could blend in more with the modern world.
    Aside from those two things, I believe in the gender roles you have put forward, men and women have different roles in life and society has long forgotten that. It’s in history for the most part and it is a proven formula for marriages and family life.

  2. Hello Alex Stepford, I like the contribution you are making with your blog. I highly recommend it to my readers (That Stepford Gal).

    Regarding the relative contributions of husband and wife; a husband gives to his wife directly primarily while the wife gives to her husband indirectly primarily. It is not that the husband’s contribution is more important or greater, it is that the husband gives to the wife directly while the wife does things that serve the husband’s goals thereby giving to the husband indirectly. For instance the husband financially supporting the wife so that the wife doesn’t have to work is giving to the wife directly, is directly benefiting the wife. The wife then raises and takes care of the husband’s children, something that the husband wants for her to do (let us hope), in this way the wife serving the husband indirectly by taking care of the husband’s children.

    The distinction between the direct contribution of the husband to the wife versus the indirect contribution of the wife to the husband is important because of the gender hierarchy implications; the husband needing to be in control so that the contribution the husband makes to his wife serves the purposes the husband is trying to accomplish.

    As far as it being more difficult to be a traditional woman because the woman “sticks out” as being a non-conformist more and therefore is attacked more by others, especially women, that is an interesting perspective.

    From my point of view as a man I feel like people are attacking me more as a sexist and an abuser of women and that the entire culture and legal system seems to be set up to make me weak and to try to make me conform to feminist demands of who I should be as a man. This attack on my strength and moral purpose as a man is particularly damaging to me because strength and moral purpose is exactly what a traditional woman will want from me and demand from me so that the feminist attack against me makes it more difficult for me to be able to be of worth and therefore desirable to a traditional woman.

    I don’t particularly care about the social stigma of being a traditional man; I care about my basic ability to perform as a traditional man. If I can’t perform well as a man then I can’t get a woman; it is as simple as that.

  3. Pingback: Does Morality Work as a Romantic Strategy? | Secular Patriarchy

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