The Duties of the Red Pill Man to the Red Pill Woman

I consider myself to be a traditional man. A traditional man seeks to claim for himself the gender role and the gender identity that men took on in the past traditionally; the 1950s breadwinner man ideal or how men behaved 100 years ago before feminism. A traditional man is strong, he is the leader and the authority of his family, and he provides for and protects, he takes care of, he financially supports 100%, his woman.

Furthermore a traditional man is idealistic, places the interests of others first, sacrifices on behalf of his family, and obeys God. He serves his wife as his duty to God, he guides and directs the upbringing of his children as his duty to God, all of what he does on behalf of others is part of his God given mission and purpose as a man.

What kind of woman does a traditional man want? A traditional woman of course. The traditional woman loves being a woman, she loves her role and her purpose as a woman, she likes feminine things, she gives of herself generously and kindly to others, she is obedient to her man, she recognizes that men have a natural authority over her and that in particular the man she has chosen to be with romantically has a right to maintain his dominance over her even when she doesn’t like it or even when she disagrees. The traditional woman doesn’t hate a man for being a man, doesn’t resent the man for being a man, doesn’t seek to undermine or attack the man for her own personal gain or her own personal advantage.

Likewise the traditional woman is idealistic, places the interests of others first, sacrifices on behalf of her family, and obeys God. She obeys God in the role of a woman.

The purpose of the traditional man is to serve the traditional woman; likewise the purpose of the traditional woman is to serve the traditional man. In the process of the man and the woman serving each other, the man serving the woman’s feminine purpose as a woman and the woman serving the man’s masculine purpose as a man, both the man and the woman together then serve God.

The idea that I would attack and degrade and insult a woman because she labeled herself as being a traditional woman seeking a traditional man is insane to me. Why would I attack my own women, the women claiming to be on my side, the women offering themselves as romantic partners to me? That makes no sense.

Yet we have the spectacle of Rollo Tomassi, leader of the Red Pill, dedicating a whole post to bashing Red Pill Women. Behold Tomassi’s recent post “Love and Ambition.” From this post Tomassi writes:

“I had this sent to me recently. It’s actually a pretty standard trope for Trad-Con women who want to justify their leaving a husband or having left an old lover/baby-daddy. They like to pretend they’re ‘red pill’ and so the only men who might qualify for their expired sexual market value will be Red Pill men who meet their new qualifications. One thing I’m seeing more and more of in this sub-section of the manosphere (really femosphere) is aged-out divorcé women who want to rebrand the ‘red pill’ to justify their unmarried, unpaired, state in the new sexual marketplace. As you might imagine, their solipsism gets combined with what they convert into a convenient rationale about what Red Pill men ought to be like. The lack of ‘real men’, real ‘red pill’ men is ostensibly why they’re still single – no man is actually ‘red pill’ enough to satisfy their hamstering and thus, it’s not they who have the problem, but rather the men who lack the balls to live up to those expectations.”

What Rollo Tomassi is responding to here is a message sent to him by a psychotherapist whose main point was that women feel unloved when their man gets lazy and fails to pursue his purpose and his ambition to the best of his abilities in the wider world. This makes perfect sense to me as a man serves a woman by using the status and accomplishment he achieves to benefit the woman and to connect the woman to his own higher idealistic purpose as a man. The woman is indeed harmed when the man withdraws from his drive to accomplish and succeed in the wider world.

Tomassi however responds with snark and contempt to this perfectly reasonable and valid observation. This is because the woman is presenting herself as someone who has standards, who has expectations and demands of what she is looking for in a man. She is claiming that her previous man failed her, did not live up to his duties as a man on her behalf, and that she wants her next man to live up to Red Pill consistent ideals of who a man should be.

Tomassi fights back that these women are divorced, past their prime, come carrying baggage from their previous relationship, and that they’re still single because their demands on men are way too high compared to what they have to offer.

Red Pill / Traditional women do have a problem that there are not enough high functioning traditional minded men around; a lot of older divorced traditional minded women really will end up without a man because there is no man who is “good enough” who wants them; this being one of the tragedies of the current feminist created romantic marketplace.

I however am not going to fault or blame a traditional minded woman who ends up alone because no man is good enough for her; is able or willing to meet her standards of what she expects or demands from a man. This is because from an objective point of view a woman is entitled to a traditional man, the traditional man being the standard of what all men should be like, the duties of the traditional man being what all men are obligated to give to women. So the woman faces a horrible choice; accept an immoral man who does not honor her or support her as a woman and who may actively fight against what values she seeks to uphold as a Godly woman or as a traditional woman or alternatively go through the rest of her life with no man at all. Either option is reasonable; it is reasonable to accept an inferior morally corrupted man because such a man is better than no man at all and it is also reasonable for the woman to hold to her high standards that no man is better than a bad man as then she will at least be free to promote her traditional values and pursue her Godly purpose unencumbered by a man who will only get in the way.

As a man my philosophy for myself is that I would prefer to remain single rather than join with a woman who is opposed to my mission and my purpose and my role as a man. Being a husband by definition means that I am dedicating myself in service to my wife so it makes no sense to dedicate myself to a woman who hates who I am and what I am as a man, who is opposed to who God created me to be.

For me however as a man this poses no terrible dilemma as there is a surplus of traditional women for me to choose from and pursue. I am not going to attack or degrade my female counterpart who faces a shortage of men and the real possibility of lifetime singleness as her punishment for holding to her moral standards as a traditional woman.

Fundamentally it is not the woman’s duty to lower her demands of men; it is instead the man’s duty to raise his abilities and his performance as a man.

Later on in the post Tomassi delivers this “Message to the ladies”:

Message to the ladies: Men don’t owe you shit. If you happen upon a man who shares your entitlement belief-set, a man willing to forgive your past indiscretions and marry you despite a ruthless marriage/divorce industrial complex arrayed against him, then thank whatever God you pray to and fuck that guy’s brains out to keep him happy, but don’t pretend it’s because either you or he is ‘Red Pill’. The fact that he would entertain the idea of a relationship with you disqualifies him from being ‘Red Pill’.”

This is a pretty shocking rant. “Men don’t owe you shit.” Tomassi declares. This is an outrageous declaration. Men OWE women care, consideration, sacrifice, and full financial support; this being what any man OWES any woman the man chooses to marry. It is the man’s decision whether or not the woman lives up to his standards of what he demands and wants from a woman and it is the man’s choice which woman he wants the most. A woman wanting and expecting from a man the basic things that a man owes to her as part of his gender role and duty as a man is not an “entitlement belief-set,” it is just basic self-preservation and wanting to be treated well as a woman.

This spectacle of Rollo Tomassi attacking and degrading his own women, the women who self-identify as Red Pill Women wanting a Red Pill Man, makes no sense to me. Well, on deeper reflection, maybe it does make sense in a way. Tomassi is trying to beat down Red Pill Women’s sense of “entitlement” because in general Red Pill Women want a man who is more high functioning traditional than the typical Red Pill Man is. The Red Pill Woman is “demanding,” she wants the man to be better, she wants the man to improve up to her level. Tomassi then attacks the Red Pill Woman trying to force her to lower her expectations and demands of what she wants from a man. This is very wrong headed. It is not that women should lower their standards; instead men should improve their performance to meet the woman’s objectively legitimate demands.

A man owes to a woman what God says men owe to women. The standard that men should live up to is based on objective moral duty and obligation according to the inherited and intrinsic gender role of the man.

The woman does not define what duties the man owes to her, the man defines for himself what duties he owes to the woman. The man also defines what duties the woman owes to him as the man. The man is dominant over the woman in a romantic relationship. The man however is obligated to submit to and obey God and owes to the woman what God says he as a man owes the woman.

Rollo Tomassi’s rant against Red Pill Women is denying the objective duties that he as a man owes to women; he is trying to get the Red Pill Woman to accept the Red Pill Man’s weaknesses and shortcomings rather than placing the focus on where it should be; men’s duty to make themselves better men.


About Jesse Powell TFA

Anti-Feminist, MRA, Pro-Traditional Women's Rights Traditional Family Activist (TFA)
This entry was posted in Men's Duties and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to The Duties of the Red Pill Man to the Red Pill Woman

  1. Traditional womanhood is often devalued and shunned by the radical feminists. women are equal to men in their dignity as human beings, but that does not mean men and women are equal in terms of roles and abilities. “Equal” does NOT mean “identical”! A woman who is a full time homemaker, wife and mother is worth just as much as the hardworking career man or woman! Implying the stay at home woman is less than, or unfulfilled is an insult to countless women who have chosen that life path! The feminists purport to empower women, but only end up degrading the very women they seek to empower. We ought to say the homemaker is worth JUST AS MUCH as any career woman! Motherhood is the most valuable and hardest job there is! How horribly misogynist and sexist it is to say the traditional role is “less than”!

  2. tjcox53 says:

    So what exactly would you say would make a traditional man be inclined to commit to a woman who has divorced a husband previously, who according to her “failed her”? Why would he think his fate would be any better? God hates divorce. How could a woman be a Godly woman, and divorce her husband because she has judged him not worthy? That reveals a Very entitled mindset. The phenomenon Rollo is referring to n his writing is very similar to the party girl, who in her twenties spent her life sleeping around with various men, then miraculously “find Jesus” and are now fit to be wives to Godly men. Such conversions do happen , but a man is right to be skeptical.
    No man “owes ” a woman marriage. If a woman is suitable as a wife, she may be worth a man’s investment in her, but woman was made for man, not the other way around.

  3. Well -written! A truly traditional red pill man takes his duties of protecting and providing seriously and takes pride in looking after his family. This encourages him to keep striving and try to be as traditional-alpha (not in the general RP sense, mind you) family man. My father is a shining example of this and until now, there is no comparison to the grit and strength he has shown over the years and he has never failed our family. He always kept us afloat, even though he became completely alone as a parent and I tried my best to support him as a semi-matriarch of our family. He isn’t religious, though he doesn’t think that the concept of a traditional man and woman is strictly religious, it’s been observed throughout history in family structures across cultures. My father has always taken care of the women in his life and all he ever asked in return is their warmth and support. Which, I try very hard to provide in our home until he decides to re-marry. One thing he has said though in contradiction to you, is that there barely seems to be any traditional women around, even traditional men like him as well.

  4. Responding to tjcox53:

    Men have their own weaknesses, their own baggage. A man with a not so good history himself may find that a particular woman who has a potentially dangerous and untrustworthy history is still the best woman for him that he can get. If the woman claims that her previous husband “failed her” maybe he did and maybe he didn’t. Maybe it was mostly the man’s fault or maybe it was mostly the woman’s fault. You aren’t going to know those kind of details immediately, you have to do some investigating and thinking about the subject and make some judgments about what kind of woman your dealing with. It may not be wise for a man to dismiss all women who are previously divorced out of hand. If a man wants to make such a rule for himself he is certainly entitled to do so but it is also legitimate to be more open minded and deal with each woman as an individual. A woman can’t predict the future of how a man she married will turn out to be just like a man can’t predict the future of who his wife will turn out to be.

    A woman may have well done immoral and selfish things in the past against her previous husband or men in general and now today seen the error of her ways and truly repented and changed how she views and treats men. Or alternatively she may be the same woman she always was and is just looking for a new victim. Try to discern her moral character today, how she believes and acts today. God hates divorce but just because a divorce happened doesn’t mean it is the woman’s fault. The man might well be prior divorced himself but still want the potential of being able to remarry.

    No man “owes” a woman marriage but if the man does choose to marry the man owes a whole list of duties and obligations to the woman he has chosen to marry because he has chosen to marry her. If the man chooses to marry a woman then he is all in in terms of the duties and commitments he now owes to the woman he has married.

    You say:

    If a woman is suitable as a wife, she may be worth a man’s investment in her, but woman was made for man, not the other way around.

    The man judging the woman to be suitable as a wife is the same thing as the man judging that the woman is worthy of his investment in her, his full investment in her.

    From a secular point of view, I don’t know the details about what different religions teach on this matter, the man was made to serve the woman so that the woman would mate with him thereby enabling him to pass on his genes and in the same way for the same reason woman was made to serve man so that the man would mate with her thereby enabling her to pass on her genes. From a moral point of view it also makes sense to me that man was made to serve woman and that woman was made to serve man; we both men and women need to work together to make a good environment for our children to grow up in and make society and relationships between men and woman work overall.

    • tjcox53 says:

      In the US at lest , there is virtually no religion that holds that women were created for man, even conservative Christians. It is an apostolic teaching in the Bible however. Your stance on this is a little confusing to me. You talk of Godly women, while calling for secular patriarchy. You write as a Christian. If so, you should be aware of this biblical teaching. You should also be aware that according to the Bible, sexual immorality is the only grounds for divorce, and some have argued that there is NO grounds for divorce, ever. This goes both ways, for men and women. And yes, in the same passage, it states also that man is not independent of woman. Apart from a faith in God there is no such thing as a “moral view”, there is only that which serves one’s interests best.
      None of which, has anything to do with my point that Rollo’s post you’re taking issue with, is a warning to be skeptical of divorced women and single mothers. In today’s marriage climate where frivolous divorce can, and often does devastate a man, it is only sensible for a man to be wary of a woman, who has entered into a contract of marriage, and broken it.
      I take issue with the concept that any woman determine the level of red pill awareness of a man. There is only hypergamy in play, even in so-called Red Pill women. Women automatically filter all men for their alpha qualities, and rank them as either AF,or BB. I am not suggesting this is wrong. Trying to align oneself with Red Pill men, is simply a hypergamous strategy, to increase one’s SMV or MMV. Both of these go down dramatically once a woman is divorced , or has children by a man. Raising another man’s children is problematic practically speaking, and in past societies was considered cuckoldry.
      Again, I, nor any other man owes women as a gender anything. There is only, what I owe my wife, that I committed to. Improving oneself should be done for one’s own self, regardless of the outcome in the marriage or dating world. Sexual attraction is merely a by-product of this.

  5. Responding to Alex Stepford:

    You said:

    One thing he has said though in contradiction to you, is that there barely seems to be any traditional women around, even traditional men like him as well.

    I get the idea that there are more traditional women out there than traditional men based on the fact that judging by what people say on the internet women are more likely to advocate for “extreme” traditional or pro-patriarchy positions, women in general are more likely to advocate for traditional gender roles such as the woman being a stay-at-home mother, women are more likely to directly say that women should submit to men, etc.

    In addition to this it is very clearly established that in the United States there are more Mormon single women than there are Mormon single men and much more Jehovah Witness single women than there are Jehovah Witness single men. Mormons and Jehovah Witnesses being particularly pro-patriarchal conservative religions.

    So I am quite confident declaring that on the extreme end of the cultural spectrum at least in the United States that there are more traditional woman out there than traditional men. I would guess 1.5% of women could be counted as traditional women and 1% of men could be counted as traditional men. This means a traditional woman with marks against her such as her being older or prior divorced is going to have a very hard time getting a traditional man who is likely to go for a younger woman or a never married woman without children because he can.

    My theory as to why there are more traditional women than traditional men out there is because it is easier to desire to be taken care of by a man and be willing to submit to a man than it is to be on the other side ready and able to take care of a woman and manage and direct the relationship effectively. Also a man in favor of patriarchy will receive more hostility than a woman in favor of patriarchy as a man against the system is more threatening than a woman against the system because men are more powerful than women.

    This means becoming a traditional man is a status symbol and an accomplishment in its own right leading to the reward of having your pick of women.

  6. Pingback: Does Morality Work as a Romantic Strategy? | Secular Patriarchy

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