What Does it Mean to Love a Woman?

Men are born to love women and women are born to love men. This is an obvious biological fact, isn’t it? It’s called hormones, it’s called puberty. I remember, starting in 7th grade at age 12 all of a sudden women became this huge thing in my mind and in my emotional world. Women, more specifically the girls at school, were beautiful and very interesting. Certain women would pop out as particularly attractive and particularly interesting and if a girl I found naturally attractive showed interest in me in return then my feelings towards her would really skyrocket and she would come to dominate my thoughts.

All of this was natural, it was automatic it seemed, it was biology. It wasn’t politics, it wasn’t socially constructed gender relations, it wasn’t cultural messages of who I should be as a man, it was simply my emotional reaction to having daily exposure and interaction with these very very emotionally powerful and emotionally important women.

It is a kind of philosophical and moral question? Why were my feelings towards women so strong in my youth, at the beginning of my developmental history as a man? To me the answer is pretty obvious; it is to serve women, to motivate me to serve women, to give me an emotional purpose and an emotional reward in serving women. You love a woman, you desire to make that woman happy, you want that woman to have a good life, that comes from your love for that woman, and you want that woman to romantically accept you, to love you and admire you, and to be intimate with you. Serving the woman is how you meet these goals of what you want with the woman, what you want on behalf of the woman, and what you want from the woman.

Love is the reward and service is the purpose. You owe a duty of service to the woman you love. Love is the emotional reward and service is the moral reward.

Looking at things from the point of view of evolution; service makes sense as something that is morally good and morally productive; service to women is something that helps women care for children and therefore enables humanity to propagate itself to the next generation. Love by itself serves no functional purpose, it just feels good. The point of love is to motivate positive behaviors that are connected to love; the point of male romantic love being specifically to motivate men to serve women; the service to women being what has moral purpose and moral value by enabling women to better serve children.

There is this idea in modern feminist culture that the purpose of a man and a woman getting together as a couple is so that the man and woman can be with the other person that they love. That the purpose of a romantic union is to be with the one that you love. I disagree with this framing of things. The reward of marrying a woman is to be with the woman that you love, the purpose of marrying a woman is to serve the woman that you love.

You as a man have a duty to serve the woman that you love, your love for a woman is an emotional signal of your duty to serve her, the reason you love her is because of your duty to serve her. You then marry a woman in order to serve her; to enable you to serve her, as a vehicle or as a means of serving her.

The purpose of men is to serve women and the purpose of women is to serve men; in order to motivate this duty or obligation of service men and women love each other. What a beautiful and wonderful thing.

If you look at a romantic relationship as simply a means of uniting two people who love each other together that is feel good and non-threatening in the eyes of the culture. More specifically it is consistent with the theory of “gender equality” as the man loves the woman, the woman loves the man, the man and woman love each other, and they both feel good together; this mutual “feeling good” being the purpose of the man and woman joining together romantically. There being no intrinsic “gender roles” in this construction of things. What matters is simply love and both the man and the woman love each other and so the man and the woman are “equal” in this partnership together, right?

I however look at things differently. When I look at a woman that I love I have a duty to serve her; I love her because I have a duty to serve her; my duty to serve her came first, then as a result of my duty to serve her I love her, I love her to motivate me to serve her. Love and duty to serve are therefore combined together; you love her and feel a duty and obligation to serve her simultaneously joined together as one feeling. How do you serve her? You provide for her and protect her, you take care of her. At the same time you recognize that just as you have a duty to serve her she also likewise has a duty to serve you if she loves you, if she wants to be in a relationship with you just like you want to be in a relationship with her. How does she serve you? By giving to you her strengths and abilities as a woman, her femininity, by being the mother to your children, and by submitting to you.

This orientation towards service does not fit with gender equality. If I look towards a woman that I love and think to myself that I have a duty to serve her and take on as my purpose in life that I am to serve her as the man who loves her then I will not be thinking of her as my “equal”; instead I will think of her as the object of my affections, as the purpose of my life, and as my subordinate who is to obey me.

Looking back over things historically this is exactly how I developed into a traditionalist advocate for patriarchy. Back in high school, the girl that I loved the most, I had the insight that the reason that I loved her was because I was supposed to serve her; that my duty to serve her was what caused me to love her. This made sense in terms of evolutionary psychology. This then justified me being romantic towards her, me trying to become her “boyfriend.” In my mind I was trying to communicate to her that I loved her and that I valued her; that I saw her as being “good” and being deserving of my dedication towards her. When she then rejected me I figured that she had rejected me because I wasn’t able to give to her what she deserved from me; that I wasn’t able to serve her according to what she deserved from a man; that I deserved her rejection because I was too weak as a man and she deserved better from whatever man she would end up with. Therefore my obligation to her was to make myself stronger as a man so that I would be able to fulfill my obligations towards her as a man. In this way maybe I could win her at a later time.

This mindset that I had an obligation to make myself more powerful as a man in order to be the man that she deserved from me is what led to my crusade against feminism as feminism wanted me to be weak and unable to be the man that I should be.

As a man you love women, you have a duty to serve women, and you are dominant over women. First you feel love for women, this happening automatically at puberty. You experience and react to the attractiveness and desirability of the women around you. This is born into you genetically. Then you have to ask why do you love women, what purpose does it serve? The answer is that it motivates you to contribute to a woman’s life, to provide for and protect women, to serve women. This contribution to a woman then makes you dominant over that woman as she becomes dependent upon your contribution to her, your dominance over her then being the means by which she serves you, in this way the man and the woman serving each other reciprocally.

You can only dedicate yourself to serving a subordinate; that is why women are subordinate to men, because men’s purpose is to serve women. Men provide for and protect women, not the other way around. Men take care of women, not the other way around. Women are dependent upon men, not the other way around. This is why women are subordinate to men, not the other way around. There is no gender equality between men and women; men give to women and therefore are dominant over women.

You love women because you have a duty to serve women and service to women subordinates the woman to you. This is what it means to love a woman. This is what you as a man owe a woman.

Related articles:
My Love For and Duty Towards a Woman’s Femininity
Marriage is what Legitimizes Romantic Love and Sex
Women Have Value!

About Jesse Powell TFA

Anti-Feminist, MRA, Pro-Traditional Women's Rights Traditional Family Activist (TFA)
This entry was posted in Men's Duties and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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