I have had Biblical Gender Roles on my blogroll for a long time. I really liked that Larry Solomon, the author behind Biblical Gender Roles, was willing to talk about sex within marriage; very few other people were really willing to talk about the subject at all. In particular the idea that the man’s right to dominance within a marriage included sex as well. I am quite sure this is traditional, the view that the husband is sexually dominant over his wife as part of being dominant over his wife in general. Larry’s blog was the only blog that I was aware of that dived into this subject in detail or even probed into this subject at all really and for that reason I valued the blog highly and placed it at the top of my “Relationship Advice” blogroll.
Eventually there were some things that Larry said that I didn’t like, that I didn’t agree with. I even felt compelled to write up a blog post, “Marital Rape is ‘Real Rape’”, that went over a disagreement I had with what Larry was saying on his blog. Still I thought my disagreements with Larry weren’t that fundamental or important and that he still had good things to say that very few other people were willing to talk about. So I kept Biblical Gender Roles on my blogroll.
Now it is getting ridiculous, too much for me to bear or want to be associated with.
First off Larry Solomon’s open advocacy for or playing around with the idea of polygamy (one man married to multiple women) not just as a theoretical idea of something that is mentioned in the Bible but as a life path a Christian man might want to pursue today as presented in the October 26, 2022 post “Modern Polygamy Dating Site”. Polygamy is like the worst idea ever invented for what is acceptable in a society for the very simple and obvious reason that it allows rich and powerful men to take all the women for themselves leaving the ordinary man with no woman at all. See the article in the March 19, 2018 edition of The Economist titled “Why polygamy breeds civil war”. It is quite crazy that Larry Solomon seems to be taking the idea of polygamy as a positive thing to pursue seriously.
Then after Larry’s pro-polygamy post Larry does a series of body positivity or fat positivity posts where Larry argues that being fat is no big deal, that you shouldn’t live according to what science says is healthy, instead you should follow what the Bible says is healthy, that there is no need to live until your great-grandchildren are born, living until your grandchildren are born is good enough (translation: living until you are 50 years old is good enough, you don’t have to try to live until you are 75 years old; how depressing), that wives have a duty and on obligation to be fat if their husbands want them to be fat, and to top it all off a fat man with no intention to lose weight or make himself more attractive to his wife has every right to demand that his wife be thin and fit for him in order to turn him on and please him better.
In Larry’s post “Biblical Principles Which Determine a Man’s Weight” Larry says:
“Before the modern age, if you lived long enough to ‘see thy children’s children’ (Psalm 128:6), your grandchildren, that was considered a good long life. Today we say people who don’t live to see their great grandchildren have lived short lives.
This modern obsession with worrying about how long we will live based on body fat percentages goes contrary to what Christ said in Matthew 6:25 ‘…Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on’.”
In Larry’s post “Biblical Principles Which Determine a Woman’s Weight” Larry says:
“After considering impacts to her fertility as well as her duties to care for their home and their children there is another very important consideration a man must take into account. What weight on his wife most sexually intoxicates him? (Proverbs 5:18-19)
Some men prefer large breasts, large hips and large rear ends on their wives. And this combination often requires these women to have a higher body fat percentage. Other men prefer a smaller fit build with small breasts, small hips and small rear ends on their wives.
All women gain weight as a result of their pregnancies. The question of them returning to their pre-pregnancy weight is completely up to the husband. Does he like her post pregnancy body better or does he want her to lose the weight? The choice is his.”
In Larry’s post “Is it Fair for A Fat Christian Man to Expect His Wife to Remain Fit?” Larry says:
“Man was not created to be beautiful for woman or to bring her sexual pleasure. But rather, woman was created to do these things for man.
Some will ask ‘Why then does the Bible tell men not to deny sex to their wives?’ The answer is that woman was created with a desire for sex and the ability to enjoy sex FOR man. And God expects men to make full use of his design of sex in marriage.”
Larry Solomon makes this strange claim that women have sexual desire in order to please men better or make sex more enjoyable for men; that men like it more when the woman is enjoying sex with them and so that is why God gave women a desire for sex, in order to please the man better.
Larry seems to have this idea that the purpose of women is to serve and to please men, not the other way around and not a two-sided mutual thing. This bothers me a lot. This seems truly male chauvinist or truly misogynist, like denying women’s humanity or something. Women have their own purpose as women definitely and men have their own purpose as men. The purpose of women is to serve men and the purpose of men is to serve women and the purpose of men and women together is to serve children.
Women have sexual desire to serve themselves just like men have sexual desire to serve themselves; women like some men better than other men in order so that the woman will know which man they want more and which man they want less; same for the man, the man likes some women better than other women in order so that the man will know which woman they want more and which woman they want less.
I base the way I view things on evolution, that men evolved to better pass on their genes as men and women evolved to better pass on their genes as women. What this means is that the man has a mission and a purpose to pass on his genes to the next generation and that the woman likewise has a mission and a purpose to pass on her genes to the next generation. Both the man and the woman has an individual mission to fulfill for themselves that requires the cooperation and the support of the opposite sex. This is how life is put together. The man serves the woman as his means of furthering his own goals as a man and the woman serves the man as her means of furthering her own goals as a woman. In this way both the man and the woman cooperate together to bring the next generation into the world and keep humanity going.
Maybe there was something dark and off with what Larry was saying right from the beginning that I didn’t want to see or acknowledge. I guess the anti-social tendencies of what Larry is putting up on his site are too much or too obvious for me to ignore or downplay anymore.
I am removing Biblical Gender Roles from my blogroll under the “Relationship Advice” category and replacing it with the “It’s Good to be a Man” site by Michael Foster and Dominic Tennant.
Larry Solomon reasons like a Glutton. Somehow its fine to disrespect the Temple of the Holy Spirit by treating God’s House this way by allowing themselves to be fat or obese.
So are you saying that polygamy is only bad because the rich men will take all the girls? I find it interesting that that’s the only reason you mentioned. Does that mean that other than that you support polygamy?
There are many reasons why polygamy is bad; the most obvious and the most important reason I would say is because of the rich and powerful men taking all the women for themselves leaving many men with no woman at all. This leading to very nasty conflicts as you would expect. There are many parts of the world where polygamy is practiced to a significant degree so the problems of polygamy are not just theoretical, you can see them manifested in real life today.
My impression is that monogamy is natural and the preferred ideal for both male psychology and female psychology so in addition to all the practical problems that polygamy leads to I just think a man prefers to dedicate himself totally to one woman and that a woman prefers to have the full dedication and attention of the man she is with. Even the psychology of why a rich and powerful man would want to have multiple wives is strange to me.
Hopefully the idea of polygamy will remain fringe and be not taken seriously in the United States and the Western World in general and it will never get to the point of having to be debated seriously.
Thank you for clarifying!! My respect for you grew even more. Thank you!