Chivalry, Courtly Love, Romantic Love, and Marriage

Dalrock has lately been doing several posts attacking chivalry and courtly love as being anti-biblical and the beginning of wife worship and feminism.

Quoting from Dalrock’s post “Chivalry and biblical marriage can’t coexist.” Dalrock states:

“What Lewis is saying is that when we elevate romantic love to something moral, then marriage can no longer be moral. At that point marriage must bend to romantic love, not the other way around. This is you will notice our current view. It isn’t just about arranged marriage. If a woman marries someone she doesn’t love because she wants something else out of the transaction (power, money, etc), then she must be allowed to exit the marriage at will. And if she marries for love but later falls out of love, she must be allowed to exit the marriage at will. If marriage is seen as something moral, a real, binding commitment, then in order to glorify romantic love you have to glorify adultery. Chivalry and courtly love are the antithesis of biblical marriage. You can’t get around this by trying to bring chivalry/courtly love into marriage, because the logic remains the same. Either marriage has moral meaning, or romantic love has moral meaning; both cannot be the case.”

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My New Appreciation for Dalrock

When I first heard of Dalrock pretty soon after his blog got started I was suspicious of him because I was suspicious of the MRAs (Men’s Rights Activists) in general and I saw Dalrock primarily as being an MRA. Dalrock was an “exotic” MRA, a different kind of MRA, a Christian MRA, but an MRA nonetheless. He was an MRA first and a Christian second in how I saw him. MRAs in general were and are an atheist bunch, very secular minded. To see self-professed Christians talking like MRAs with their kind of “male only” focus endlessly advocating for the male point of view and fixated on male interests only was a novel and new thing; Dalrock being the leading example of this new kind of MRA, the Christian MRA. Continue reading

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My Beloved from High School

I first saw her in the later part of 9th grade, probably the first day of second semester. All the different students were introducing themselves to the class, it was English class I believe, and when I first saw her I was in shock, oh my god she was so cute, so charming, so pretty, so fascinating. She was laughing, having a good time, yucking it up with friends. She seemed so confident and relaxed and playful, having a good time with the ritual introductions to the class. And she was so pretty. I was amazed, damn that girl was attractive. I obsessed over her a good three days before “returning to normal” mentally. I was always acutely aware of her after that, nervous about how I should react to her and such. Continue reading

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Marital Rape is “Real Rape”

Can a husband “rape” his wife? By “rape” I mean cause a major psychological trauma based on a forced sex episode. In other words a “real rape,” a rape that causes major harm against the victim. Continue reading

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Christian Complementarianism is Female Controlled Patriarchy

What is Christian Complementarianism? I remember fondly listening to Mark Driscoll youtube videos (Mark Driscoll the former big name leader of Mars Hill Church and the Acts 29 Network and Christian Complementarianism) and I very much liked what he had to say about what it means to be a Godly woman and a Godly man and how men and women should relate to each other in marriage. Yes, true, I knew that I was more extreme or radical in my view of gender relations than Mark Driscoll was, me being more strongly patriarchal than him, but basically what he had to say seemed good and right to me even if in my opinion he didn’t go “far enough.” Continue reading

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To Serve or To Impress a Woman

Is it better to serve a woman or to impress a woman? A woman you are romantically interested in, a woman you want to be in a relationship with.

If there is a girl that you like you want to impress her, you want her to like you, you want her to say “yes” to what you ask of her. These are all things based on her response to you and her will or her choices regarding you; these are things based on her emotional responses and her decisions. Continue reading

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The Romantic Market of Traditional Men and Women

There is a problem for the single traditional men and women out there, namely how to find a good romantic partner of the opposite sex who is traditional like you in a hostile feminist world. Are there any traditional women out there? Are there any traditional men out there? How do us isolated rebels find each other in the feminist mob where everybody is a feminist it seems? Continue reading

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