Fifth Year Anniversary for Secular Patriarchy!

It has been 5 years now since I launched this website here Secular Patriarchy. A milestone, 5 years is a long time.

A lot of things have happened during these past 5 years; the big things, the important things, I didn’t expect. What I did expect on the other hand largely didn’t happen. Continue reading

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What’s the most confusing thing about being a man today?

From the introduction to the “Manhood, Now” podcast produced by Anna Sale for WNYC Studios:

“We’re in a moment where what it means to be a man is shifting—and to some men, it feels like there are a lot of mixed messages floating around. As one man put it to us, “there’s a very unclear set of expectations as far as how a man should behave.” But while we’ve heard a lot of talk about men in this moment, we’ve heard fewer conversations with men. So we asked you: what’s the most confusing thing about being a man today?”

For me right now I wouldn’t say that it is “confusing” how to be a man today, instead it is difficult, very very difficult, to be a man today. It is difficult because society and culture and even law actively works to undermine and attack and disempower men; to prevent men from becoming the men that men should be. Continue reading

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Whose Fault is Feminism?

Feminism got started around 1850 with the introduction of Married Women Property Acts to repeal the prior existing Coverture system; Coverture being the last time the United States and England had a stable family system; ever since the end of Coverture family life has been steadily deteriorating (at least until 2009; there being evidence that family life has actually been improving since 2009). Continue reading

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Chivalry, Courtly Love, Romantic Love, and Marriage

Dalrock has lately been doing several posts attacking chivalry and courtly love as being anti-biblical and the beginning of wife worship and feminism.

Quoting from Dalrock’s post “Chivalry and biblical marriage can’t coexist.” Dalrock states:

“What Lewis is saying is that when we elevate romantic love to something moral, then marriage can no longer be moral. At that point marriage must bend to romantic love, not the other way around. This is you will notice our current view. It isn’t just about arranged marriage. If a woman marries someone she doesn’t love because she wants something else out of the transaction (power, money, etc), then she must be allowed to exit the marriage at will. And if she marries for love but later falls out of love, she must be allowed to exit the marriage at will. If marriage is seen as something moral, a real, binding commitment, then in order to glorify romantic love you have to glorify adultery. Chivalry and courtly love are the antithesis of biblical marriage. You can’t get around this by trying to bring chivalry/courtly love into marriage, because the logic remains the same. Either marriage has moral meaning, or romantic love has moral meaning; both cannot be the case.”

Continue reading

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My New Appreciation for Dalrock

When I first heard of Dalrock pretty soon after his blog got started I was suspicious of him because I was suspicious of the MRAs (Men’s Rights Activists) in general and I saw Dalrock primarily as being an MRA. Dalrock was an “exotic” MRA, a different kind of MRA, a Christian MRA, but an MRA nonetheless. He was an MRA first and a Christian second in how I saw him. MRAs in general were and are an atheist bunch, very secular minded. To see self-professed Christians talking like MRAs with their kind of “male only” focus endlessly advocating for the male point of view and fixated on male interests only was a novel and new thing; Dalrock being the leading example of this new kind of MRA, the Christian MRA. Continue reading

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My Beloved from High School

I first saw her in the later part of 9th grade, probably the first day of second semester. All the different students were introducing themselves to the class, it was English class I believe, and when I first saw her I was in shock, oh my god she was so cute, so charming, so pretty, so fascinating. She was laughing, having a good time, yucking it up with friends. She seemed so confident and relaxed and playful, having a good time with the ritual introductions to the class. And she was so pretty. I was amazed, damn that girl was attractive. I obsessed over her a good three days before “returning to normal” mentally. I was always acutely aware of her after that, nervous about how I should react to her and such. Continue reading

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Marital Rape is “Real Rape”

Can a husband “rape” his wife? By “rape” I mean cause a major psychological trauma based on a forced sex episode. In other words a “real rape,” a rape that causes major harm against the victim. Continue reading

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