“Well said. I love your kindness and respect for women, even the feminists and the fallen. You are right, just because such women exist, does not mean they exist for men to exploit. Being a man is about leading, not preying on the weak and broken.”
Responding to this comment from InsanityBytes I then said:
“I guard my idealism towards women and my respect for women very strongly; I see it as kind of the center of my soul or the center of my morality. If I am not advocating on behalf of women then what is the point?”
This exchange led me to think about what I mean by “my respect for women” and “my idealism towards women” more carefully. What do I mean exactly when I talk about “my respect for women” and “my idealism towards women” and are these things; respect for and idealism towards women; necessarily linked to each other?
The subject of my previous post was my attacking Roosh V for advocating that men should view and treat women, at least “modern women,” as objects of sexual manipulation to be pumped and dumped because they were not worthy of marriage or commitment from a man. This is very disrespectful treatment of women and it is also not at all an idealistic way of viewing or treating women. It views women as being lesser than, as being worthy of contempt. To respect women and to be idealistic towards women is to be in awe of women to a certain extent; to hold their lives to have value, to take on a first do no harm ethic in how you treat them, to get into a mindset that you owe a woman and are taking on an obligation to act on the woman’s behalf to “take care of her” when you approach her and try to engage with her romantically. You should love a woman at least a little bit before asking her out and pursuing things with her romantically.
I will add; a man should definitely present himself with authority and confidence when approaching a woman and interacting with women in general. The man should be respecting himself as a man and expecting / demanding respect from the woman he is with while at the same time maintaining his respect for the interests and well being of the woman.
To respect a woman I would say is to recognize and honor and support her value as a woman; to give her her due and recognize her for who she is and what she represents as a woman. To acknowledge her value and importance as a woman and to act according to this value and importance that she intrinsically has.
To be idealistic towards a woman means to treat her according to your best self, to live up to your ideals as a man on her behalf, to give her your best because she deserves it, to focus on her good points and the parts of her that make you feel good and the parts of her that show her kindness and consideration towards others, to sacrifice on her behalf, to place her needs and interests above your own, to do your duty as a man for her.
I made a connection between idealism towards women and respect for women earlier. I think the connection is that respect is what the woman deserves; it is based on the woman’s social position and characteristics as a woman. Idealism on the woman’s behalf is then how you as the man should treat the woman according to your best expression as a man in support of and giving value to the woman’s objective value and importance as a woman. In other words respect is what the woman deserves due to her value as a woman while male idealism represents the value and contribution of the man in response to the woman’s value as a woman.
So from the point of view of the man first the man recognizes the value and importance of the woman and in response is in awe of the woman and then treats and views the woman with respect. Then the man feels affection and love and an eagerness to be with the woman and in response to this desire for the woman becomes idealistic and aspires to become the best version of himself he can be on behalf of the woman because it is what makes him a good man, a man deserving of the woman’s love. It is his purpose as a man, to serve the woman.
In this way respect and idealism towards women is the foundation of how men should view women and treat women both in general and in particular within a romantic context. This respect and idealism towards women is based on both the feminine virtues and strengths of the woman and also the masculine virtues and strengths of the man. The man gives to the woman his respect and idealism because he is a good man with good masculine qualities and the woman inspires in the man the man’s respect for her and the man’s idealistic drive and passion for her because she is a good woman with feminine qualities that make the man’s heart sing.
There are a number of duties that the man owes to the woman that are derivative of the woman’s right to be respected as a woman and that are a part of men’s idealistic role on behalf of women as women’s guardians and protectors and enablers of women being able to fulfill their role and purpose as women; it being men’s primary purpose to provide the structure and support that women need to not have to take care of themselves so that their time and attention can instead be focused on their feminine nurturing role in support of others.
One thing I notice in manosphere writings is that there tends to be a lot of hostility towards women and a strong desire to punish women for their sinful feminist ways. In this context my talk of respecting women and being idealistic towards women will rub many the wrong way. The objection will be raised that women nowadays don’t deserve respect! That being idealistic will just set you up to be an easy victim or an easy dupe to women’s schemes to take advantage of you. Surely it will also be claimed that respecting women and being idealistic towards women will outright turn women off; that it will make the man look weak and therefore unattractive to the woman.
I think the thing to keep in mind here is that you as the man have a moral mission to play in the woman’s life and that you are to execute that moral mission. You have a role and an identity as a man and you are to stay faithful to that role no matter what, no matter the obstacles or the difficulties your environment poses to you. You respect women because it is the right thing to do; because it maintains the role and positive purpose of the woman. You act idealistically towards the woman because it is the right thing to do; because it best enables you to fulfill your role as a man.
Keep in mind here; respecting women and being idealistic towards women will definitely generate hostility towards you because it is you as the man imposing your agenda on the woman. You are not trying to win a popularity contest by following ethical rules and ethical principles in your behavior towards women; instead you are just trying to do what is right as a man.
Definitely as a man you should defend yourself against the woman’s hostility and the woman’s contempt for you. Keep in mind that you are an authority figure in relation to the woman and that you have the right and the duty to maintain your position of authority against the woman’s potential attacks against you and attempts to undermine your position and role in relation to her as a man.
You respect the woman from a position of strength. You are idealistic on behalf of the woman from a position of strength. You use your strength as a man on behalf of the woman where your respect for and idealism towards the woman guides you on how best to respond to and treat the woman in front of you.
Related article: Worshipping Women on their Pedestal